Vulnerability around the Holidays!

Posted by on Dec 5, 2013 in Uncategorized | 0 comments




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Where will you be for the Holidays in ten, twenty or thirty years from now? Will you still be surrounded by your family and friends? Or will you find yourself isolated in a residence where old age has no rights, no say, no more sparks, according to the residence owners and directors?

Back in April 2010, my mom’s husband decided that it was time to move into a residence. He sold the house while my mother was with me in Arizona. She had no say on what she wanted.

In April 2012, he throw her out of their apartment at the residence claiming that he could not take care of her anymore. He is thirteen years younger than her and, she has more sparks and more energy than he has. You can imagine what kind of year was 2012. Nasty separation with a spiteful man.  Never thought it would happen to my mom at her age. She had had her own share of challenges throughout her life and now this.

She now has been living on her own at the residence since June 2012. She is managing. She has some highs and some lows, like each one of us. But what I would like to talk about are the conditions that all those elderly people live in. Let’s just talk about food! My mom has her own little fridge, toaster, coffee machine, etc….but when she has to rush down for lunch, often what awaits her is a baloney sandwich with a small bowl of soup. For dinner, only 4.5 hours later, she might get an omelet or a grilled cheese.  My mother is diabetic. Is that the kind of nourishment they need?  My mother grew up “hungry”. Not enough food to feed the thirteen kids. Does she really need that today? I say NO.

When I ask her, ¨why don’t you say something? ¨ She says ¨no, no, no. If I say something maybe they won’t give me a second bowl of soup tomorrow. Please don’t say anything.¨ And there she goes living in fear of not having enough …once again. And they all live in that fear.

My upcoming book is all about caregiving and care receiving. I will have many similar stories to share with you and more. I intend to expose the truth of what is really going on in those elderly residence. So stay tuned. In the meantime, if you would like me to interview you, or a family member or friend, for my book, please don’t hesitate to reach out.


The holidays are just around the corner, and many of us might feel the Christmas Blues. I am going to make sure that my sweet mother doesn’t. Stan & I are going to pick her up on the 23rd December and take her with us to a cottage we rented in the Laurentians, Quebec. On the morning of the 24th , we put the turkey in the oven then take my mom to the spa for some pampering! Back by 3:00pm, sit by the fire and wait for the rest of my family to arrive.

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable around the holidays can transform someone’s life, including yours.

A clip of my mom dancing July 13, 2013  IMG_0651 . And this is after spending 4 long hours at the hospital, because she caught her thumb in the car door. Ouch! yes. Nail gone and broken thumb. She is a trooper. Love you mom.